Finally, art is useful. Take it from Audrey Lopato, a lady sporting a spoon on her forehead afixed with a yellow headband, who runs a banana stand in a food truck park on South First Street in Austin where she witnesses all kinds of “traffic drama” from her stand’s window, reports KEYE TV. “You’re always hearing the honking, the HEY and the yelling,” said Lopata, who saw a drunk driver smash through the food court’s hand-painted sign a while back. The incident got her thinking—maybe there was a way to keep the drunk-driver-traffic-drama off her property. Then, boom! “The fruits of that thought were revealed,” said KEYE TV, when one morning she conceived of numerous metal poles buried in the ground and big rocks around the property’s perimeter to “deter” drunk careeners. (I think by “deter” they mean kill.)
The news bit is a little foggy on who the artist is that made the metal poles and placed the giant car-deterring rock “art.” What the “art” is is in fact never clarified in the news bit—rocks and poles? Just poles? Lopato-the-performer? I’m so confused, I’m determining that the news bit itself must be some Ant Farm-meets-Wes Anderson work of art.